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How to contact us

Please read our FAQ before contacting us with any questions about RealHamster.

All RealHamster prices and options are listed on our ORDERS page. Prices are non-negotiable and subject to change at the drop of a hat. We do offer a payment plan, but you must send us your firstborn as collateral, and even then we reserve the right to change the price without notice.

We don't offer printed catalogues, sample RealHamsters or sample hamster body parts or cybernetics.

As answers to questions cost $100 per question asked, plus $200 per question answered, it is recommended you think carefully about your questions before contacting us.

If you have a question really worth answering, send us your full name and address, your Mesa or Vadgercard number and expiry date and the questions you wish to have answered. The worth of the answer to your question will be reflected on the bill for your credit card.

General Questions: hamsterbugger@realhamster.con

Sales and Marketing: sales@realhamster.con

Media Relations: media@realhamster.con

Abysmal Derivations

66 Furry Lane
Lincoln, Canterbury, New Zealand
Tel: (03) 555-8434
Fax: (03) 555-8433

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