Realistic, life­sized and beautiful. Elastic flesh, luxurious fur, a cybernetic infrastructure and sexy features like no other buggering hamster in the world. If you've had wet dreams over a hamster like this, you'll know exactly what we're on about. Most buggering hamsters are made of cheap bits of sackcloth. They look pathetic and laughable – not buggerable. Don't expect to see any of those goofy sandbags on this site. RealHamster is the REAL DEAL.

If you hired an engineering company to craft a custom buggering hamster for you, with all the features and whizzy bits of a RealHamster, you would most likely have to pay $20,000 or more. Even then it would probably turn out to be a retrofitted RealSheep. If anyone caught you buggering a hamster with cloven hooves, you'd be giggled at for the rest of your life. Don't risk the embarrassment — go for the REAL THING.

So, how do we do it? In four words:

Please feel free to browse our site, but e-mail us with your serious inquiries only.

Abysmal Derivations

About this site

The RealHamster is the world's finest buggering hamster, available exclusively from this website.

This site features news, our current product catalogue, features and datasheets, obtuse answers to frequently asked questions, letters and testimonials, company contact information and everything you need to know about ordering your own personal RealHamster!